i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
