thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize