I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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