I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
