You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
