my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
