She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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