are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
