why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
