Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
