The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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