I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
