so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
