the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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