I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
