An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
