we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
