just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
