Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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