you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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