I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
