She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you didnt know i had herpes?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
