I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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