how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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