I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
