? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just tell him i said nine months
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize