when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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