Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
