He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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