trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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