Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize