I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
