Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
