her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
