he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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