Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Itβs a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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