in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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