Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
