is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
