i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
