just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
