we're blogging at a bar
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
