I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
