How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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