I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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