i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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