Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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