Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
