I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Are my feet made of real feet?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
