I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I will be naked everywhere
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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