Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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