Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
