Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Come share oat with me in your robe
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
