I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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