so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i think i have two assholes
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
