Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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