My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
