Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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