It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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