he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
