If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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