His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
